


Without Him

by sciencebiatch



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Cute, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Fitzsimmons AU, Love, The Bus, otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 04:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4593384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebiatch/pseuds/sciencebiatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1 month ago I  had been asked to join one of SHIELD’s teams as head of the science department and I had accepted. Being apart of one of SHIELD’s teams was a dream for me, everything that I wanted to do, getting a chance to discover new things and hopefully go in the field.</p><p>The problem was my best friend Leo wasn’t coming with me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SHIELD

****** 5 years ago ******* 

Jemma’s POV 

“Fitz, please come with me. I doubt they’ll mind if there’s an extra person.” I pleaded, tears in my eyes as I was about to board the plane. 

1 month ago I had been asked to join one of SHIELD’s teams as head of the science department and I had accepted. Being apart of one of SHIELD’s teams was a dream for me, everything that I wanted to do, getting a chance to discover new things and hopefully go in the field.

The problem was my best friend Leo wasn’t coming with me. Leo, or as I call him, Fitz, and I met on the first day at the academy. We were the youngest and the only ones who weren’t from the US. At first we hated each other and we were always competing with each other to be better but once we learnt that we were stronger together we never parted. 

Fitz was an engineer, one of the best there is, and the two of us .. well we didn’t have many other friends. Not only was he my best friend but my long time crush, not that I would ever tell him. We worked better as friends and I wouldn’t change that. 

When I got asked to join the team I knew straight away that I wouldn't’ go without Fitz. When I asked him about it he wasn’t sure, he said that he would rather stay and work at the playground. I spent every moment I could trying to convince him, telling him that it would be a good experience for the both of us. Not only would we learn so much but we would also be working with other people. Once I was sure that there was nothing that I could do to convince Fitz to join the team I threw the letter in the bin. 

If Fitz wasn’t going I wasn’t going. 

Unfortunately, Leo didn’t feel the same way. He found the letter and filled it out for me and sent it without my knowledge. I didn’t find out until they sent me a letter back with all the details of when I would leave. 

I was furious at Fitz, but he knew that I really wanted to go and didn’t want to hold me back. 

So here we were. I was about to board the plane which would take me to the base which my new team was waiting at. 

“Please Fitz. I don’t want to go without you. You’re everything to me. I won’t be able to see you very much once I’m gone. If you don’t then I won’t go.” I told him, trying to make it seem like I wasn’t going to back down. 

“Jemma, we both know that you really want to go and I’m not stopping that. I’ll be fine here at the playground and I promise we’ll catch up as much as we can.” Fitz told me before hugging me tight, reassuring me that nothing would go wrong and nothing would change. 

“Miss Simmons, are you ready to board.” The pilot asked impatiently. 

“I’ll miss you Jemma.” Fitz whispered into my hair before letting me go. 

I slowly walked up and into the plane, tears falling from my eyes. I turned around one last time to wave at Fitz but I couldn’t see him. 

It took me a minute to figure out that he had left. He didn’t even wait to see the plane take off. He just walked away. 

Tears started to fall faster, I tried brushing them away but it wouldn’t stop.

He just left. Did he not care enough to even watch the plane take off to make sure I took off safely. 

I buckled into my seat before trying to push everything away. I was going far, far away and it was time that I started over. Forget everything at the academy, forget Fitz. 

 

FITZ’S POV 

I couldn’t bare see her board the plane. I could see tears in her eyes as we said goodbye. Once she got on the plane I just couldn’t take it. I forced myself to turn around and walk away, into hindsight of the plane. I knew Jemma would turn around to wave at me one last time but I couldn’t … knowing that I would probably never see her again, it was too hard. 

She would join her new team and forget about me, then she’ll find a nice guy, probably special ops, and they’ll live together forever in some faraway country.

It took everything in my will not to just follow her onto that plane, join the team with her, that way I’ll never lose her because we’d always be together, but I knew I couldn’t do that. 

Jemma was not only my best friend, but I loved her and I don’t think I could ever admit that to her face. 

It was hard, to not say anything, she was my best friend I told her everything but this would ruin our friendship forever and I don’t think that I could bare the awkwardness. 

That was why I didn’t go with her. I would follow Jemma anywhere and everywhere, but if I joined the team with her we’d be together all the time, living in the same area. I don’t think I could keep it a secret forever. 

Letting her go was the best thing I could do …


	2. Forever in your heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OT5 and the Night - Night Gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. Don't forget to leave Love.

******* present ****** 

One person can change your life forever … every memory you’ve ever had with them, imprinted into your mind, finding it’s way to remind you of what happened. 

That was true with Fitz and I. 

Everything changed once I’d joined Coulson’s team. My days were spent in the labs trying to occupy myself and not think about all that I’d left back at home. Not only had I not spoken to Fitz since I left but my family as well. I was practically in isolation other than the other four members of my team. 

They became my new family. 

“Simmons ! Coulson wants to meet, debriefing.” Skye yelled from outside the lab door, motioning for me to hurry up. 

I quickly took off my lab coat, leaving it to rest on my desk, before rushing to catch up with our team’s hacktivist before we both walked to Coulson’s office. 

Skye aimlessly complained about how Ward, her SO ( or supervising officer), kept putting her through harsh amounts of training and punishments even when she was only minutes late. 

You see Skye was another newbie. We picked her up not long after I’d joined the team. She was a hacker and our groups techie. She’s being trained by Ward everyday so she’ll be able to defend herself while out in the field. 

“Hurry up, Coulson’s waiting!” Ward called, rushing us as to not keep everyone else waiting. 

Once we were all seated Coulson started asking each of us what we’d found out about our new Hydra lead. There was a rumour going around that Hydra was going and taking down SHIELD teams one by one and we were trying to find their next target. 

“There have been sightings of Bakshi meeting up with someone at a cafe near downtown LA” Skye reported, while tapping on her phone trying to bring up the video feed she’d found, “I haven't got facial recognition of who he was meeting with yet but I’m trying to. 

“That’s a start.” Coulson states while bringing up a global map of SHIELD safe spots, “ May, take us to the SHIELD safe house in LA. We'll start tracking Bakshi from there"

Coulson dismisses us leaving us all to go our own way. 

Skye quickly runs off to her bunk before Ward can force her into more training. May goes off to fly the Bus towards LA and Ward returns to being the stoic person he is and I retreated back to the lab. 

When I got back into the lab I found a box on my desk labeled 'Weapons' it had been sent from the Playground. I had been waiting for this shipment of guns for weeks now but I didn't know exactly when it would come. 

The last few weeks I'd been working on a new tranquilliser serum to put inside these guns but I hadn't been able to finish them without the gun itself. 

Opening the box I only found one gun inside, it was an ICER, or what Fitz had called 'the night-night gun.'

One night after class Fitz had rushed off back to his dorm and stayed in there for at least 3 days nonstop. I kept asking him about what he was doing but he wouldn't tell me. Three days later he knocked on my dorm door at 2am in the morning holding this gun in his hand. He has bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept but his face glowed as he presented his work to me. 

The night-night gun was a tranquil gun and only knocked and stunned people. It didn't injure or harm them in any way. 

After he made the gun he showed it to his physics teacher who brought it to the attention of Fury. 

This was the first time that I'd seen the gun without it being in Fitz’s possession. When he made the first gun he decided to make a second to keep for himself. Once SHIELD took the first one and all it’s schematics he gave the second to me and I still had it. I wanted to give it back before we left but I just couldn’t. 

Fitz would be so proud to know that his gun was being put to good use…

Shaking the thoughts of Fitz out of my head I inserted the tranquil serum into the gun before running out of the lab to find Coulson. 

Coulson gathered everyone together to test the gun. May put the plane on autopilot, Skye came back from her hideout and Ward stopped doing repeated push ups in random places. 

“Okay, the Playground has sent us our newest shipment weapons. This is an ICER made by a young boy at the academy and Simmons has .. well done something .. to make it work. So now we have to test it out.” Coulson handed the gun to Ward which he took gladly. 

“Who do I test it on?” Ward asked, holding up the gun and pretending to fire. 

“It’s an ounce to heavy” Ward looked at me while lifting the gun up again. 

I didn’t say anything but I wanted to hurt him for saying that Fitz’s gun was too heavy. Fitz’s gun was on spot and he should know it. 

“Oh .. I didn’t think about that” Coulson rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Fine, just use it on me.” May announced, bored by all this. 

Everyone looked at her as if she was crazy. 

“You want us to shoot you with an ICER” Skye asked her incredulously 

“Well you’ve got no one else to test it on. Hurry up, the faster you shoot me that faster I’ll regain consciousness so I can land this thing.”May stood up and walked in front of ward before impatiently standing there waiting for him to shoot her. 

Ward held the gun up and pulled the trigger. 

A flash of blue light exploded from the gun and hit May square in the chest knocking her unconscious. 

“Well, the gun works well. Jemma, How long does it last ?’ Coulson turned congratulating her for the success. 

“Uh .. I’m actually not to sure Sir. I’d say between 30min and 2 hours. It really depends on the person's immune system and their position when shot and where they were shot .. “ I rambled on but Coulson put his hand up to stop me. 

“That’s enough Simmons. Does this gun have a name or is it just another ICER?” Coulson asked curiously. 

“Well .. Sir, Fitz called it the Night-Night Gun.” I told him honestly 

“We are not calling it the Night-Night Gun” Ward quickly protested. 

“Who’s Fitz?” Skye asked me questionably, giving me a look which said that I’d better explain later. 

“The Night-Night Gun it is !” Coulson remarked, “Ward keep an eye on May and let me know when she wakes. The rest of you are free till the plane lands.”

“Thank you Sir” I mumbled walking out and back to the lab to collect my things before going back to my bunk. 

When I got to my bunk I rummaged through my belongings to find the Night-Night gun Fitz had especially given me. I smoothed my finger across all the surfaces, trying to remember my best moments with Fitz and how proud he would be right now. Suddenly, I felt something along the bottom, it wasn’t smooth like the rest of the surfaces. 

I turned the gun upside down to find an inscription at the bottom

‘Forever in your Heart ~ L.F.”


	3. The Playground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

Fitz’s POV

“Fitz ! Fitz ! Did you hear ?” My roommate Hunter called out while he walked into the lab causing everyone to shush! him as he walked past. 

“Hear what ?” Trip, my lab partner asked. Trip was a Specialist but he liked helping me in the lab, so when he wasn’t being called for duty he spent his time with me. 

Hunter, on the other hand, was a SHIELD mercenary and spent most of his time out on the field. He rarely came into the lab so this must have been a very important because he thinks the lab is too sanitary and clean (his words not mine). 

“Remember the ICER Fitz told us about.”

“What about it ? Didn’t it get sent to Fury or something?” Trip asked casually not paying much attention to Hunter. 

“Well Fury must have thought it was worth it because it was sent to one of SHIELD’s teams and they’ve cleared it for use.” Hunter announced, with a grin on his face, beaming brightly at Fitz. 

“Wow Fitz. Well done!” Trip congratulated me while lightly patting me back. 

I put my head up from the newest gadget I was building and looked at Hunter, trying to test whether he was being serious or not. 

“Are you for real?” I asked. Was the gun I’d made a few years back really being put to good use? 

“yeh.” 

“My gun ? The night-night gun ?” I asked, not believing any of this. It had been so long since someone had spoken about it. When I’d first made it there was a buzz around the academy but once I’d sent it off to Fury no one ever spoke about it. 

“yeh. That’s what Hunter just said.” Trip stated. 

“It’s jus’ ... tha .. that’s so hard to believe.” I fell back into my stutter for a brief moment. 

“Well it’s true. So congrats man. We should celebrate. Go out for drinks or something, get you two out of this stinkin’ lab.” Hunter decided, before dragging Trip and I out of the lab to take us to a nearby bar. 

**** 2 hours later ****

“Here’s to Fitz and his successful ICER” Hunter announced before we all raised our glasses into a cheer. 

I felt myself starting to sway from side to side on my stool, almost falling off. If it wasn’t for Trip holding me up, I would have fallen. 

“Fitz … maybe you’ve had enough to drink for tonight.” Trip told me while taking away the shot glass in my hand. 

“Nooo-” I slurred while trying to reach for the glass and get it back.

‘Who knew he was such a lightweight ?” Hunter commented before taking another sip from his unknown red drink with two umbrellas on it. 

“I am NOT a lightweight. I can hold my alcohol well, now give me back the glass,” I told Hunter and Trip before leaning over the stool a little too much and falling.

I rubbed the part of my leg that I fell onto before hauling myself back up onto the chair with a pout, hoping to guilt trip Trip into giving me the glass back. 

In the end I gave up trying to get the glass back and just sat there watching other people aimlessly chatter and drink. 

Something drew me towards the young couple in the corner back booth. They were young and seemed to be engaged in a heated discussion. They were bickering back and forth and I smiled, the couple reminded me of Simmons and I when we first met. We were always arguing and didn’t get along like we do now .. or like we did, to be more precise. I started to wonder where she was now..Jemma was probably on an exciting mission with her new team in something tropical country having the time of her life, not even remembering my existence.   
When she first left I waited days for a letter, telling me that she was okay, that her team was nice and that she was having fun, but it never came. 

I sighed .. regretting not going with her. Maybe if I did we’d still be best friends like we used to be, drinking tea every morning before going to mission briefs and having movie nights in my bunk on our nights off, but it was too late now. 

“Fitz ! Fitz !” Hunter called me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah” I replied, not fully listening. 

‘Why do you look so down ? This is your night out, live a little .” Trip asked me causing me to mentally scold myself for making it so noticeable. 

“Nothings wrong, don’t worry about me. I’m just a dizzy.” I told them both. It wasn’t the truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. I was feeling a little sick in the stomach and my head was spinning but I was trying to ignore that. 

I went back to looking at the bickering couple to find them intensely making out not caring if anyone saw and I blushed, imagining Jemma and I in their place. If that had happened before she left, I’m pretty sure things would have changed. 

This made me regret not going with her more and more. 

Finally my body couldn’t take the alcohol in it’s system and I vomited all over the ground. Everyone in the bar stopped and stared at me. 

“Okay SHOW’S OVER” Hunter yelled causing everyone to silently go back to their own business. 

My head started spinning even more and the next thing I remembered was dropping to the ground. 

When I regained consciousness the first thing I thought of was Jemma. Normally, Jemma was the one who looked after me when I drank. She knew I was a lightweight, I will admit that I am a lightweight, and she’d always let me drink until I threw up before taking me back to my bunk. There she’d tuck me in before leaving an aspirin and a glass of water next to my bed. 

“Jemma” I mumbled, without thinking straight. 

“Who’s Jemma?” I heard Hunter whisper to Trip before darkness consumed me.


	4. Bus Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !   
> Don't forget to Leave Love

JEMMA'S POV

Skye had hacked her way into the security cams near the cafe and located Bakshi. Currently he was meeting with three other men in a bar. They were all dressed in casual clothing but we could tell that underneath they had tactical gear and were armed so the med bay needed to be prepped. 

Coulson wanted me to stay out of this mission just incase the team came back ‘scathed and they needed urgent medical attention. 

To say I was worried for my team was an understatement. Normally I’d be okay with them going out into the field but this mission looked like the simplest but was meant to be one of the hardest of them all. 

I would be watching everything that was going on from a spy cam which was installed in the glasses Coulson was wearing and I was ordered to call in backup if need be. 

Heading into the bar, Skye and May walked towards a small table at the back while Ward and Coulson approached the bar to buy drinks. They didn’t make contact with Bakshi until they were just about to leave the bar. While he walked out the front door they came through the back entrance. Ward caught up to them first and started to take down one of the men who Bakshi was with. May, who was right behind him, was going hard against the other, much larger, man on Bakshi’s team. Skye and Coulson chased after Bakshi himself who had fled once he saw our team. 

Suddenly I could hear static coming from the earpiece I was wearing before I heard May’s voice urgently telling me to call for back up right away. I did exactly as she said and got in contact with the SHIELD HQ contact we used and told them May’s coordinates telling them it was urgent. I had a funny feeling when I was talking to the SHIELD contact. They sounded different and the call was filled mainly of static coming from the other line, but I brushed it off trying to see if Skye and Coulson were still okay. 

When I looked back at the camera all I could see was a dark blue colour. Coulson must have taken his glasses of while he was chasing after Bakshi, so now all I could do was sit and wait. 

“Hello is anyone there ?” an unknown voice called from the ramp of the bus 

I quickly got out of my seat and ran to see who it was. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone here other than the team and I’m pretty sure I’d know their voices by now. 

When I arrived at the ramp I saw a man all dressed in tactical gear. He looked like the back up people send from HQ but I had no idea what he was doing here. 

“Didn’t I send you the right coordinates ? May said it was urgent. You need to go there, NOW!” I told the man, waiting for him to hurry off. 

“Actually, I was told to come and check on you.” He told me.

I looked at him questioningly, normally they only send backup to people who are in danger, and the last time I checked, I was safe in the bus. 

“If you’re okay then I guess I’ll head back.” He said before walking away. 

I walked back inside to the lab and sat down hoping that everyone was okay. All I could do now was wait for them to come back, hopefully in one piece and hopefully with Bakshi in cuffs. 

** 2 hours later **

Time had passed and it wasn’t 2 hours later till May and Ward came back all bloody and bruised, helping hold up Coulson who had a bullet wound above his hip and Skye who looked like she had broken or fractured her arm. 

I told everyone to go straight into the med. bay before I got started on Coulson first. 

I applied pressure on Coulson’s wound before bandaging him up and telling him to not move as much possible as to not infect it anymore than it is. 

Skye was next, fortunately, her arm wasn’t broken it was just fractured. I could tell that she was in pain but she tried to hide it as much as possible and I really appreciated that. 

“What happened to the back up ?” I asked May

“Back up?” She looked at me confused, “There was no backup. Didn’t you call them?” 

I didn’t understand. I called backup and they came. Well at least they came to me. Why didn’t they go to the team ? 

“I did call them. They came didn’t they ? There was one who came to the bus to check on me? He said you guys sent him.” I told May and Coulson, who seemed to be the only ones paying attention. 

“May. I think we’ve been intercepted. Someone has been tracking us. We need to get this plane up in the air and as far away as possible.” Coulson told May before she hurried off to pilot the bus, wounds still fresh and unbandaged. 

Normally it only takes under 10 minutes for May to get the bus up in the air but we were still on the ground. 

“Our tires are slashed and someone has been messin with our engine. I can’t get the bus in the air.” May announced to us. 

“Ok. Team Meeting. NOW!” Coulson almost yelled. I could tell he was angry. His team was injured and his plane wasn’t flying, it couldn’t really get worse. 

Once everyone was gathered, Coulson told them about what happened to the plane and how he thinks we’re being infiltrated.

“Skye, see if you can get into the Bus’ cams. and see who slashed our tires. Simmons, can you give us a facial profile of the person who came to talk to you and I’ll contact the Hub to see if we can stay there for a while. Ward see if you can fix the plane.” Coulson told everyone exactly what to do before we set off. 

The mood was dreary and everyone was trying to take their minds off what happened to day by keeping themselves busy.

Later that day Coulson announced that we were all going to stay at the Hub for a few days while they get some people to fix the Bus before we continue looking for Bakshi. 

I hadn’t been to the Hub since I joined Coulsons’ team. The hub was one of my favourite places to go when I was back studying at the academy. I loved visiting the hub, it was one of the most high tech places and had the best science equipment there is. 

Fitz loved the Hub too. He always wanted to work there. 

It made me wonder if he would be there when we went … I missed him.


	5. Seeing Him

Ward, some how, got the Bus to work again, but it wasn’t in perfect shape and needed large amounts of work. But it was flying, and that was all that counts. 

The engine rattled as we made a bumpy descent down into the landed bay of the hub. We all quickly hopped out and were ushered to the medical bay so they could do a more thorough scan. I followed Skye and the doctor she was with and started fiddling with their equipment, starting to do my own diagnostic before the doctor ushered me away telling me that I wasn’t qualified enough.

Annoyed, I gave a nod at Skye before walking out and accidentally bumping into Coulson who was coming to check on Skye. 

“Sir, shouldn’t you be moving around too much. Don’t they have a bed or something for you to lie down on ?” I asked him, worried about his injuries. 

“Simmons, I’m alright. You go get some rest, today must have been stressful for you” Coulson told me. I was about to object, saying that I was fine, but he put his hand up, silencing me, before walking into Skye’s room. 

I decided that I may aswell get some rest. No one else needed me, and I was tired.   
I retired to the bunk they had given me. I laid down, going over everything that had happened. 

Someone had infiltrated our bus, hurt our team, yet everyone was still pulling through like nothing was wrong. 

Was I the only one who was worried, or was everyone else that good not to show it? 

The next morning I was awoken by someone banging on my bunk door. 

When I opened it I expected to see Skye or maybe Coulson but it wasn’t. I didn’t even know the person at my door. 

“I was told to get you. Coulson and Agent Hand are calling a meeting downstairs. You’ve got 10 minutes.” The person at my door, who was supposedly British, told me. 

I nodded before closing the door again, before getting ready for another day. 

Downstairs I found Ward, May, Coulson, a female who I assumed was Agent Hand and the British man who was at my door this morning. Suddenly, Skye rushed in apologizing for being late before the meeting started. 

Coulson introduced us to Agent Hand, who was going to help us in our mission to find Bakshi. 

“I’m going to also assign Agent Hunter” she pointed to the British guy, who gave a small wave, “ one of my Specialists and an engineer, along with your team for backup.” 

She and Coulson went on about exactly what was going to happen. But since the Bus was still down, no one had any direct orders so we all went our own way. 

I found myself walking towards what I thought was the labs, hoping to see if I could be of assistance to anyone. Although, I somehow found myself in an unknown place. lost. I started to wander, trying to find where I was trying to go but ended up even more lost. 

I felt someone tap my shoulder. Slowly, I spun around to see who it was, or what they wanted, but instead I found agent Hunter. 

“You seem lost.” He pointed out the obvious

“You see, I was trying to get to the Labs to see if anyone needed any assistance, and I thought I knew where I was going but .. “ I trailed off. 

“Evidently you didn’t” He finished for me.

I nodded

“I’ll show you where it is, but I can’t promise you that they’ll want your help. People here, they like working alone.” He told me, looking as if he was thinking. 

“Oh, I know what it’s like working alone, I worked solely by myself on the Bus but I used to work with a partner, those were probably my favourite years. But I guess it depends on your partner, he was my best friend .. It’s better working with someone else .. “ I said reminiscing, “Sorry Agent Hunter, you probably didn’t care to hear that story” I apologize for rambling on. 

“It’s just Hunter. and I don’t mind, although, knowing your name would help” He asked, while smiling cheesily. 

“Jemma Simmons, but I go by Simmons.” I told him

“Jemma .. “ He muttered, “Where have I heard that name before .. ?” Hunter kept asking himself before he remembered. “Fitz.. “ He said softly. 

Jemma immediately looked at Hunter when he mentioned Fitz’ name. Why did he say his name ? Did our names have something in common ? Did he know Fitz in some way ? 

I looked at him questioningly, trying to figure out how everything connected. 

“My friend Fitz was muttering that name a few days ago, but it’s probably someone else though.” He nodded, “Oh! here we are. Wow, it’s busier here than usual, maybe they might need your help.” 

“Thank you Agent Hunter .. sorry Hunter” I said politely before walking in to ask anyone if they needed help. 

Thankfully someone did, but they must've thought I was useless because they gave me the least important job they could find. As I had nothing else to do, I thought I’d help out anyway, plus it gave me time to think over what Hunter had just told me. 

Was he talking about My Fitz ? 

Why was Fitz talking about me ? 

Maybe Hunter was right, maybe he knew another Jemma ? 

I kept thinking about all the possibilities. Maybe Fitz was here at the Hub too ? Hunter must have known him somehow ? 

Suddenly I heard glass shatter. 

I looked down to find that the beaker I was washing up had slipped out of my hand. This had never happened before. Everyone was staring at me, so I quickly cleaned it up before leaving, knowing they wouldn't’ want me anymore. 

I still couldn’t push the thought of Fitz out of my mind. I decided to see if I could go back inside my Bunk in the Bus to grab some of my other essentials, as we might be staying at the Hub longer than I expected. 

When I went out into the ramp, there were people working on the Bus everywhere. I slipped inside, hoping no one noticed me and went into my Bunk grabbing some of my clothes and shoving them into a spare bag. As I was grabbing one of my jackets I felt something rustle in the pocket. I reached to see what was inside it and found an old photo. I sat on my bed staring at it. I thought I’d lost this photo. 

It was of Fitz and I, it was taken the day of our graduation, we were so happy, so young. I smiled, I felt a tear run down my cheek as I thought back to that day, I missed him more than I realized. I tried to hate him, as much as I could but honestly .. I couldn’t. 

Wiping the tear away I walked started to walk back out of the Bus. 

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be in there” a voice called. 

I recognized the voice without even having to look who it was. 

I slowly turned around. 

I was him. 

Still holding the picture in hand I just stared at him, too scared to move, incase I was just imagining things. 

“Jemma” He softly said. 

I felt the tears start to run down my cheeks again. I felt the picture slip from my hand before I just took off. The tension was too much and I couldn’t handle it. 

I felt Fitz watching me as I ran away, his eyes watching me. I always thought the day I saw him again would the happiest day of my life. But it was all too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Love <3


	6. photograph

FITZ’S POV   
“Agent Fitz. Agent Trip. Hunter. Please come with me.” Agent Hand called out to us while we were fooling around in the lab. 

My face formed one of those looks, ask if I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t meant to. It stayed like that until Agent Hand told us we weren’t in trouble. I let out my breath, which I didn’t know I had been holding before questioningly looking at Trip and Hunter, trying to see if they knew anything but they just shrugged before pushing me forward. 

Agent Hand took us what I think was her office. The three of us stood awkwardly in front of her desk waiting for her to say something. I could see Hunter start to tap his feet, which he only does when he’s feeling uncomfortable. I tried to signal him to stop but he didn’t see me. 

“You’ve probably heard that there’s been a few new additions around.” 

I looked at Hunter and Trip. None of us had heard about any new additions. Did she mean new students who graduated from the academy ? Or .. who ? 

When none of us replied she must have gotten the hint that we had no idea what she was talking about and had to explain. 

“Yesterday we got a report in that one of our SHIELD teams got into a bit of a mess. They were ambushed. Only a few members came out unscathed but their plane, I should say air-bus, is in terrible condition.” She told us. 

“Sorry, but what has this got to do with us?” Trip, being the only brave one out of us, dared to ask. 

“Well, I was hoping that the three of you would join their mission. Once their Bus is working again that is. Their team needs a few more members if they are to catch Bakshi.” 

Trip and Hunter seemed confident and even excited to go on a mission. Being here, it meant that they didn’t get to do very much. Me on the other hand .. well .. mission weren’t my thing, but it didn’t look like I had much of a choice. 

“We’d be honoured.” Trip replied politely before we all started to walk out. 

“Actually, Hunter I need you to stay with me. You’ll come to the debrief and meet the team. Trip and Fitz, can you start working on the Bus ? They’ll need your help.” Agent Hand told us before motioning for Hunter, letting Trip and I go off. 

Trip and I walked towards the ramp, basically the garage for the playground and inside it, sat the Bus. The first thing I did was get an update on what everyone had been working on, but no one had actually found out what the problem was. 

I took a look at the engine and it’s systems and found out that someone had burnt the engine, filled the Bus with the wrong fuel and slashed the tyres, causing everything else to just fail. 

I took charge and assigned everyone to their duties before going off myself to work on the engine. Once my part was done, I went inside to check if anything was wrong from the inside. 

Suddenly I heard a noise, footsteps. Someone was inside. I hid, hoping they wouldn’t see me, I wanted to see who it was first. They started to walk away, cautiously aware of anyone watching them. 

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be here.” I called out the the female who had her back towards me and was trying to get away. 

She slowly turned around and I saw who it was. 

Neither of us said anything for a moment. We were both too scared, I could feel my heart racing in my chest. I hadn’t seen her for so long and now she was here right in front of me. 

“Jemma” I called out softly, trying to establish the fact it was really her. 

I watched her, my eyes trying to read any emotion coming from her. 

Tears started to run down her face, all I wanted to do was wipe them away before taking her in my arms forever. I could see something slip from her hands before she ran. 

I watched her, still starstruck that it was actually her. I watched her leave, watched her run … run away from me. 

Slowly I walked towards where she was standing and bent down to pick up what she had left. 

My breath got stuck in my throat when I saw what it was. It was a photo of us. The one we took on graduation. I picked the photo up, looking at it more carefully, before folding it back up and placing it in my pocket before reminding myself to give it back to her sometime.


	7. the name ... our name

I started to walk out of the Bus, still in a daze of seeing Jemma after all that time, I didn’t that notice Trip had seen everything. The whole ordeal with my awkward reunion with Simmons. 

He slowly started to walk up towards me - trying to decipher what had happened. 

“Do you want to explain or do you want me to guess ? Because … honestly .. I don’t think the guessing is going to go too well.” Trip announced before we both started to walk off the Bus and to an area where there would be no unexpected visitors.

Sitting down on this small bench on the other side ramp I tried to figure out what point would be the best to tell Trip about .. well everything .. 

“There was this girl - back when I was at the academy. She was everything to me. Well ... at first I hated her but then we found out we were lab partners and we were inseparable since. We did everything together. I would always be in each others dorms studying or having Doctor Who marathons. She was British so she would bring tea every morning.” I started to ramble without noticing. 

“Everything seems great. What happened ?” Trip asked but I could tell that he was worried about what I was going to say. 

“Jemma, you may aswell know her name. She got asked to join one of SHIELD’s teams as head of science. Anyway, she really wanted to go, she thought it was a good learning experience, but I didn’t. When she found out that I wasn’t going to join her she threw her letter away, saying she wasn’t going to go without me. She didn’t tell me she had done that, so one day I found the letter in the trash. I filled it in and sent it off for her. She didn’t know until they sent a letter with all the details of her placement. She chose to go in the end and .. I hadn’t seen or heard from her till today.” I ended off sadly, the memory of Jemma still fresh in my mind. 

“So .. you hadn’t spoken in a while, that’s different. That - What happened there. That was more, are you sure there isn’t something you aren’t telling me ?”

I wasn’t surprised that Trip had seen through what I’d told him. He knew me well. 

“I love her” I admitted shyly,” and it’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her every time I see her but I know I can’t because it will ruin our friendship, which was why I let her leave and everything was all good. We’d both moved on ! .. and then today happened.” I bursted out into a mini outrage. 

Trip just smiled. 

“That makes a lot more sense” he mumbled to himself. 

“I honestly doubt that you were over her. I think you just tried to bury it, but deep down …” Trip trailed off letting me mentally finish what he was going to say. 

He had a point. I had always loved Jemma, I just wouldn’t admit it till now. 

Trip didn’t say anything for a few moments which let me just think. Unfortunately, thinking wasn’t such a great idea because horrible scenarios - all involving Jemma - came into my head, and I honestly think I started going crazy. 

What if she secretly overhead this whole conversation right now ?  
What if Trip tells her ?   
What if I can’t stay calm and I tell her ?   
What if she hates me forever ?

I continued to mentally panic. Trip had to draw me out of my momentary freak-out before I noticed that Hunter was standing in front of me with a questionable look on his face before telling us that we had to go to another debrief meeting. 

I walked towards the signified meeting area. I could hear Trip whispering to Hunter everything that I told him - to catch him up. Hunter just looked at me with a surprised looking, as if knowing something I didn’t, before continued talking with Trip. 

We were last to walk into the meeting. Agent Hand was looking at the three of us unimpressed. The whole of Jemma’s team was also looking at us, probably wondering who we were. 

Agent Hand did a quick introductions before the meeting continued. 

I avoided Jemma’s gaze throughout the whole time, only looking up quickly to sneak a glance before putting my head down quickly hoping she didn’t notice. 

I felt Hunter nudge me before I noticed that Agent Hand and Agent Coulson had actually called on me to tell them a run through on how the Bus is. 

I quickly and awkwardly told them that the problem was almost fixed and that their Bus would be back within a few days. 

The meeting then continued without me having to say or do anything. 

“... and Fitzsimmons will be working together in the Lab .. “ 

My head shot up when I heard Agent Coulson mention my name. Well .. OUR names. 

“What!” I heard Jemma splutter out, just as surprised as I was by the thought of something mashing our names up again. 

My mouth was agape, not sure what to say. I had always loved the thought of our names together, but I just hadn’t heard it in so long, it was always unrecognizable. 

“Fitzsimmons .. your names fit together nicely.” Coulson replied to Jemma before she blushed and just nodded. 

The other girl in their team, the brunette, Skye, I think it was, gave Jemma a questionable look before Jemma looked up in my direction. I quickly put my head back down, hoping she didn’t notice that I was staring at her. I could feel my cheeks start to heat up but I didn’t dare look up again . 

JEMMA’S POV 

A blush started to form on my face when I realized that I had just called out aloud. When Coulson replied he looked at me as if asking if I was okay with this name mashup. I just nodded slightly before putting my head back down. 

I could feel Skye looking at me, as if asking ‘ What the hell just happened ?’ but I just looked back up at Fitz quickly before she understood. I saw Fitz quickly put his head back down when I went to look at him. His face started to tinge red. 

I had seen him. He was shocked too when Coulson had said Fitzsimmons. I doubted both of us expected it. 

Being around Fitz again was weird. We used to be so insync that we finished each others sentences. Now it was like meeting a whole new person, whom I used to know. I didn’t like it. I wanted the old Fitz back. My old Fitz back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Love <3

**Author's Note:**

> hope you've enjoyed.  
> leave me love <3  
> (follow me on tumblr @maoshield.)


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